Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

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If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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The WNBA

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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Why did little Lisa fall off the swings? She had no arms

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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A retarded man speaks jibberish, because he is retarded

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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