Cut off your fingers and lose weight fast!!!

Why did little Jimmy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus.

What did the boy to it's grandad........ UR COuSIN¬

Ian's mind Elevator music

Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

What did the fish say after he

How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to use a female name.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Knock, knock. Who's there? Sasquatch. Sasquatch who? ROAR

A man walks into a Bar, and he gets kicked out because its an animal only bar no people allowed

What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

Refrigerator

Why do women like NASCAR? They don't.

Cancer.

You played so good! No, I played well. Okay??

Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

What happens when you roll a quarter down the street in Mexico? It rolls for a small period of time but eventually it falls over and stops rolling because quarters aren't able to roll very far on imperfect surfaces.

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

A black man, a white man, and a group of Jews were all walking down the street. They got hit by a bus.

a black hispanic and asian man jump off a cliff they all die and their families morn their deaths

Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Why was Billy laughing? He was driving the bus Why did Bobby drop his ice cream? Billy put the bus in reverse Why was Johnny crying? Sally and Bobby stole the money from his bank account and now he is poor and homeless

Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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