Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

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Two planes walk into an office building

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Some home health supplies. He really needed them, too.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Anti-jokes

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

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What Do you say to an atheist after he sneezes? Bless you. Its just polite

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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whos a sick fuck? jake morris

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Q: What do you call a black woman who can't tell you who her baby daddy is? A: "Mam". Rape is a serious and painful crime, and the strength to raise a child on her own without her consent is worthy of respect.

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Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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