two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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mark is life

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Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

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Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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What's worse than getting tripped? Getting shot.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

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What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler... Time to go to Aushcwitz

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

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Nickelback.

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Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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how many dead babies fit in a bathtub 16

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What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

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Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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