What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

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You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

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What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

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What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

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Ready for something funny? nothing

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Cliterus

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who ate all the food in zimbabwe? Nick bigg.. he later died of cancer and aids

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An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

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A man walks into a bar, Esept it wasn't a bar and he was running.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

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What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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What do you call a white man who murdered his whole family? -a murder What do you call a black man who raped five women? -a rapest What do you call a Mexican with a leaf blower -a hardworking legal immigrant working twelve hours seven days a week to support his wife and three children.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A blond walks into McDonalds. She orders and leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Your Face.

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who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

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Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor! why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. why did the farmer cross the road? To get his chicken. Why didnt the farmer make it to the other side? He was hit by his tractor.

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If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops