how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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whats purple, extinct, and smells like children? barney

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

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Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

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Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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human centipede

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Yesterday I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I take my cleats off when I jump on trampolines

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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