Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Clouds are white.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You might be a redneck if you have red on your neck

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two elephants in a bathtub, one says, "Pass the soap." The other one says, "No soap. Radio?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I walked up to the door and I asked the door how r u door, and he said, I'm a door!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black pope? Catholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what is the biggest lie I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him. A horse walks into a bar Barman says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My mum died this morning".

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo mamma so fat, she's on a diet and is losing weight at a good, steady rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops