Roses are red, Violets are blue. Leaves are green, You should know all this by now...

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Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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8===D

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Life is like a box of chocolates, quite strange to enjoy when you're single.

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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Why did the

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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i find your gravy quite lumpy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops