Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Anti-jokes

What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

Two planes walk into an office building

Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

What Do you say to an atheist after he sneezes? Bless you. Its just polite

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Some home health supplies. He really needed them, too.

What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

What's brown and sticky? A stick

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

whos a sick fuck? jake morris

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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