To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

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Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

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"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

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look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

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Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

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whats black and yellow a chinese with a bruise

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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Why cant Helen Keller drive? ......because women cant drive(:

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

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Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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belly button

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I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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Why did the chicken loom the road? To unlock the final boss.

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Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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