A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

An epileptic man attends a rave.

Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

What's yellow and goes up and down? A banana in an elevator.

How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

what's the difference between rice and an asian? one is a food.

A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

what happened to the asian who failed his math quiz... his parents killed him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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