I woke up today

What do Lincoln, JFK, and Barack Obama all have in common? They were all president of the United States of America and are relatively good people.

Which square is small and yellow? The small, yellow square.

children of those parents which are childless, are often childless too...

What do babies suck on? juice boxes!

Why did the car cross the road? Isn't that what cars do?

Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

If black guys really have big packages, why are there standards so low, they prefer fat girls? I don't know, but prejudice and racism is wrong dickhead.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

how many babies dose it take to paint a fence it depends on how hard you throw them

TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

Why was little Jimmy so sad? Because he was H.I.V. positive

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

roses are black, violets are black, im dead.

What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...