Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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Rebecca Black. That's it. That's the joke.

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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Why did Bob fall over? He was impaled by a narwhal. -BG

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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