What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops