Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? 10 minutes in the microwave.

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

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roses are red so are the jews every one loved that holocaust news

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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