Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -27

your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

thumb_up thumb_down -27

-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q:Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Conrad Barry

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

emma: mat has a quick reaction time

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops