Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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I was once a hamster.

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In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

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Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

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Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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why did sally drown cause she was black

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of excess velocity.

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Do you knpow why Michael Jackson is not dead? Dumbass, he IS dead...

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There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

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Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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What did the cat say to the cat? Miau

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops