What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

Why was the man sad His got raped

What did the dog say to the cat before they fought? Lets fight

I Like my women like i like my wine, 6 years old and locked in the cellar

Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

Velcro. What a rip off.

what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

Why was the fat girl a virgin? Good morals

Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

Dont follow this link.......http://www.google.com/imghp?hl=en&q=blue+waffle&tab=wi

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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