So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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What did the joke say to the antijoke? Nothing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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obama

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what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

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Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

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How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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How do you kill a black man? You cn coz he'll beat you up first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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