Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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go F*** yourself

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms!

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If a llama walks into a jewelry store and a carrot has no feathers, then why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a car because chickens are simple creatures and don't understand the complex rules of the road.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

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two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

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I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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my name is CC im a little bit retarted but i only drink my own urin and sometimes i like to have a big dinner with poop urin and my friends urin CC for life!!!

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Jesus was born and rased a jew

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Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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