One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

Major League Soccer

How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

A horse walks into a bar the barmam asks why the long face The horse replies he's suffering from depression after his family was killed in a car crash and he has now turned to alcohol to sort his sorrows

A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

wanna hear a joke? i dont

Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

do you wanna hear a joke school

I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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