Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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Actually, Red Bull helps temporarily restore wakefulness when experiencing fatique or drowsiness.

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roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

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Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

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how did the girl die? she read all of your terrible anti-jokes.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

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whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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Whats the difference between a car and a baby? I would have a hard time throwing a car.

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why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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knock knock whos there steve i dont know you go away

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

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have safe sex

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What's the difference between 15 dead babies and a cadilac? I don't have a cadilac.

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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