I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

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Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

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My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

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What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

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Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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Sex with people under twelve years/MONTHS? You think I am a pervert or something? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: DAMN STRAIGHT I AM! People use to tell me they know I am good on the inside... Joke is on them, I I fool them all by being slightly kind on the outside!

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Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- *slam*

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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