did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

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How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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