If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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1

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What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

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why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

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What's the difference between humans and dogs? 4.

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What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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Your dads dead. lol

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yo mama so old that back in her school she didnt have history class

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

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A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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You just wasted time of your life reading this, and perhaps even more wasted time thumbing this down.

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69

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS i'm about to die

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how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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