What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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Your mom

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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How do you kill a blonde girl? You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a filled pool.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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What happens when u poke a ghost that is standing on the edge of a building? Ghost aren't real so therefor u will fall of the edge and die

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What did the Pope say to the little boy? Look both ways before crossing the street

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What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

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What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

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Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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