A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

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what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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Q. What did the fat man say when he ate a salad? A. Yum.

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A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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What is worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? F*cking midgets

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Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

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MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

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What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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Extra extra read all about it dunkin donuts has now been named dunkin pigs..a cops favorite hang out.

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A blond and a brunette are on the moon. The brunette says to the blond "I'm glad that independent company's are taking the job of American space travel."

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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