why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

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what ate all the ants in the hill? an anteater

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

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Whats funnier than a black guy dieing? Everything thats not funny

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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What is worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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Yo momma's so fat, however, she takes pride in her size because every body is beautiful.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a rock? The rock doesn't cheat on it's wife.

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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