why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Elephant. Elephant who? Seatbelt.

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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What do you call a blue colored dog with seven legs, that oinks? not a dog...

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What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

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so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops