What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

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What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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Knock, knock. After a couple minutes of waiting the man knows that no one is home and leaves.

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What has potential but is in fact disappointing? This joke.

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01101101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100110 01101001 01101110 01100100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101000 01100001 01101100 01100110 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100001 01110000 01110000 01101100 01100101 00111111 00100000 00001010 00001010 00001010 00001010 01001110 01101111 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 Translate

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Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

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How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

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koala's try to hit on teddy bears...... desperate even though we know extinction's comin

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What to you call a heavy person, Someone overweight

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Why did the cupcake walk into the bar? It can't it's a cupcake

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My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

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Why did the little boy cry? Because his parents were shot in the face while he was forced to watch you insensitive jerk Now walk away ????

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Do the roar!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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