A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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When A White Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Claps When A Black Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Does Handstands, Celebrations, And Shouts

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

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"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

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What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

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What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

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a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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What did catwoman say to batman? meow.

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What's white, wet, and salty? Salt that has come in contact with a liquid in the recent past, seeing as the liquid has not evaporated completely from the combination of sodium and chloride yet.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? her dad threw a refrigerator jlr

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Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

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why was the boy sad? because his mom just punched his hamburger

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What do you call said black man flying an airplane? A pilot.

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why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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