She was so hot every guy instantly jizzed upon seeing her. Even seeing her fingernails gave boners to thousands of people. Poor thing never had sex, no one could hold it in until they started. Maybe only Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than having sex with a woman who has been dead for 10 minutes? Having sex with a woman who has been alive for 10 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Why did he? NO I LOST THE CHICKEN Later: Knock knock Who's there The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What the man from the arapahoe tribe say to the mexican who was living in a trash bag? You should try a hotel room. They comfortably sleep 67-493 mexicans.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock, Knock Who's There? An Orange No Seriously Who Are You?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

thumb_up thumb_down -9

CAVE JOHNSON.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -9

YEAH THEY DO!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than the Holocaust? A second Holocaust. What's worse than a second Holocaust? Being raped by Santa Claus. What's worse than that? NOTHING.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's purple and glows? An electric grape

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's bloody and has wheels? The Holocaust I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A large Albanian man jizzing on the pile.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my legs Doctor: It's because you're blind son

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops