What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

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What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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Q: What do yoiuo call an Italian butler? A: Vinny

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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Why did the frog cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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What has hands but cannot feel? A sociopath; due to his or her mental health condition they are incapable of feeling true emotion.

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A platypus walks into a bar, and was the only mammal in the building capable of laying an egg.

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

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what's purple and plastic purple plastic

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So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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What did the man say to g**guy we are both g**

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Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

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What did david give back? Nothing.

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Girlfriend has 10 letters, but then again, so does freeeeedom

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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this is not a joke. jks

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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