Why was the 3 year old high He was flying

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the second and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" The second muffin replies, "Holy crap a talking muffin!"

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A man tells a blonde "you are what you eat" and she replies "well, i don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today.'

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

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Sharvil has aids 4 times

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Multi Orgasmic Pillow screechers

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How do you save Africa. Put a rash of bacon in and envelope.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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What's flaming and has wheels? A firepit. I lied about the wheels.

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A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

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What is Green and smells like Yellow Paint Green Paint

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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Q. How do you stop a clown from smiling? A. You hit it in the face with an axe.

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What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Why??? Q: Idk, thats why I asked

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Whats worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings? A car crash Whats worse than a car crash? 3 bee stings

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops