How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

2 beavers enter a bar, destroy all the stool legs, and leave.

What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

Jim: You know whats funny? Bob: What? Jim: The 28th Amendment.

Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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