This is not a joke

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the horrors of factory farming.

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sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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Not a joke.

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I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

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Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

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whats polish and black a polish black person

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Why did the downy jump off a cliff? I told him to.

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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Q: What's better than the Call Me Maybe video? A: A shot-for-shot parody of it featuring a GIMP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxnAITCv5o

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Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

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Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

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Why so serious? Your brother died.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops