Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

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what did the guy say when his partner took a poop on his chest? It was unnecessary for you to deficate onto my chest. In no way at all was that sexually stimulating, and i shall consider seeking out a new partner.

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Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, here's some candy, gent in the van.

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This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

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What happens, when you give a blonde a Computer? She uses it like any other person because her haircolor has nothing to do with her Intelligence

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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Women's Rights Movement

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how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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Sam Hengal.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops