That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

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Mitt Romney

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Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

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Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

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What's the difference between chili and a urologist? One is hot and spicy and the other analyzes urine.

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

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Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

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When the loaf of bread crashed the car the wife was mad. What do you think she did? She put Nutella on him toasted him and then ate him

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-I thought the lesson had started? -It has

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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Q: Why do black people drink Grape Soda? A: Because it queches their thirst, and satisfies them.

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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What did the taxi driver say when the black man got in to his taxi? Where to sir?

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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