Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What's bad about 4 asians getting shot? A: There could've been five

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So your a murder, and you show everyone your knife. what do you do, easy just chat with them.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened to Dave when he walked across the road? He got hit by a car and died... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Dave...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the little boy die? He had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops