You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

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What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

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Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

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Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

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You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

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Actually, Red Bull helps temporarily restore wakefulness when experiencing fatique or drowsiness.

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

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404: Anti-joke not found.

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roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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what are three short words? i a am

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You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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