Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

aa

Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

knock knock who's there interupting black woman interu- MMMMHHHHHMMMM

balls

What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

I like colin but not as much as apple

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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