a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red violet are blue i saw a machine and it was ps2

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

aa

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what are three short words? i a am

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

VAGINA.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do u call a Mexican on the moon? An astronaut. What do u call all the Mexicans on the moon? Problem solved!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between a car and a baby? I would have a hard time throwing a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the armadillo fall off the cliff?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops