knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

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What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

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Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? A new breed of dog.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

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three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

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why are black people good at sports? because i f***ed your mom

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

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What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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