What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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what's up? my penis.

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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