what did the blind man see? Nothing he felt the penis in his butt.

Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

Q: What did the poor man do when he saw a Ferrari? A: He realized that he would really enjoy having the money to buy such a nice vehicle, so he decided to take it upon himself to enroll in night classes. After many years of hard work, he earned a degree and a high-paying position at a large software corporation, and bought his dream car. He often told the story to his children as an example of what hard work and a goal in mind could achieve you. He lived a long, productive life and died fulfilled.

I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

POLITE NOTICE: Management Committee here. Please refrain from posting any anti-jokes which are not offensive to protected groups.

Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

why did the clown stop laughing? because it got hit by an axe

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

What is a gremlin? A gremlin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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