A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Ouch.

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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Knock knock Who's there? April April who? April fools

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What do you get when you cross a man with a horse? The Nobel Prize for your advancement of genetic sciences; centaurs aren’t real.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Kevin. Which? Kevin Smith or Kevin Johnson? Kevin Johnson. Oh ok, come in please.

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Neil is a reterd.

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Why did the milk man cry? Cause you killed his family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

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Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

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Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

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Your mother is so classy, when I asked her to order at a fast food drive through she decided to park the car a eat inside.

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what is white and sticky a stick from a birch tree

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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Whats a difference between an eagle and a tree? They both can fly. Oh yeah, I Iied about the tree.

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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What do you call a black police officer? The drug dealer's inside man.

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What did the doctor say to the minority, parapalegic after he barely escaped a fire alive? You just got burned!!

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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If your name is coincidentally stated in this text, you will have to pay 200 of your country's currency to the person nearest to you whose first name starts with the letter G. Dexter / Ryan That is all....

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4 men walk into a bar. They have fun. ~Yasmin~

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the WNBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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