Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

i killed a blind guy when he wasnt looking

Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

knock knock. Who's there... Mormans

Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

Can u explode on me.......Plz.........no........ok.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

Intel Core Computers answer robot flavored phones at middle of june CC

How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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