Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Check out our iPhone App!

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What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Son : daddy ,I got punished in school today. Dad :why? Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying -"At the end of this scale there is an idiot"..... I just asked "WHICH END ?.

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jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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How many jews does it take to- I have alzheimers

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guess what chicken butt

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

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What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

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Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

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Ryan Holden is a faggot.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

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What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

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why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

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What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops