There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

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Say the line below sixteen times very fast: I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... Done? Good boy!

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sky's sty

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A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

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Annld so the penguin said, "This is my most casual outfit!"

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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i killed a blind guy when he wasnt looking

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knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

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Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

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There's 2 guys in a Y shaped road. One road leads to a cliff with deadly alligators below the river. The other road leads to the village. You can ask both of the guys one question to which leads to the village. However, one guy always tells the truth and the other guy always tells a lie. How do you get to the village? GPS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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