what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? A new breed of dog.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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i dont fisish anythi

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"Your invited!" "Invited to what?" "I can't tell but everybody you know." " He he."

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? I can't remember... :(

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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what do you get when you mix a shit zoo and a pitbull......"bull shit" oh this joke sucks well my life is over

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

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4 gay men walked into a bar. it was a gay bar. all 4 men had a good time

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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