there was a pre school teacher and he told the children to draw a squirell. One boy breaks into tears because his entire family was slaughtered by a pack of squirrels. This upset the teacher

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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what do you call a prostitute with AIDS? Most likely her first name, unless of course you know her and it is normal for you to refer to her by a nickname or some shorter version of her proper first name.

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Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

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what tall and looks like a jew?

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all jokes aside...

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A black person walked up to another black person, and tells him a pun the other black person laughs and walks away

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Did nims chinnie? Fins.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops