There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

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So um think of two things. Oh wait backspace that. What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Ok answer. Ok stop no seriously so. Enter. Ok Enter. Q backspace A nope Chuck Testa

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

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Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

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What did the teenage girl get for her birthday? Pregnant.

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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what do you call a professional gamer Their name

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Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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