What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the teen boy shirtless? He was mauled by tigers.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a blond girl walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised that they are in the presence of a celebrity.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what do you call Mackenzie Phillips? five head

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops