Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

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;iub

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How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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That is so fetch

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Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? George Bush

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

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Roses are red Violets are blue i suck at poems nice titz

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A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

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Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for christmas? Cancer.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was shot in the face

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Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Whose there? Person 1: Frank Person 2: Oh, hey man. Come on in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops