What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do a black man and a cop have in common? They are both not cabbages.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How you know that you are flying with a "no frills" airline? There are no meals or films provided, no orange juice to drink during ascent and descent and no mid-flight shop service.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Murder his family

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A homosexual and a heterosexual bump into each other on the street. But its okay, because although they both lead very different lifestyles, they are open minded enough to respect each others choices and both apologize and keep walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops