How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Minutes later, cops come in and arrests the poor man for not paying his bill while the deaf man sits at the bar calmly drinks his beer.

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GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Yo momma is so fat, that when I went over to your house and accidentally stepped on a skateboard, yo momma came out and said "get the %$^# off the skateboard!"

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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Two apples are hanging from a tree. They are both picked, sold, taken home, washed, and enjoyed by a family of three.

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And more;

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

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what do fish smoke? sea weed

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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There were three people on an airplane. A Mexican, an American and an Italian. The plane chrashed and they all died.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Noideer! No.Blind What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still Noideer! No, it's basically dead

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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